Shoes and Shadows
by HecateA
Summary: Jason Grace's life isn't ruled or decided by him, and the choices he makes always have multiple reasons. What is expected of him is never easy, and is never really realistic. Oneshot.


**Hi! So I've had this flying around my head since The Mark of Athena came out, and it's finally ready for you guys' critique and enjoyment today. I love Jason Grace with all my heart despite hating some of his recent choices, and I hope that I can show a side of him that stays invisible (and that he's pretty good at keeping invisible) with this story. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Jason Grace or the world of Percy Jackson and the Olympians/The Heroes of Olympus.**

* * *

**Shoes and Shadows**

* * *

**Prologue**

Unlike most children, Jason Grace has an excellent memory of his early childhood. He remembers the night he got to Camp Jupiter. And even if he hadn't it would have been explained to him.

It was at muster, and no legionnaire or cohort claimed him when the praetors introduced him. A Centurion who was ashamed of her legion for not taking in the wide-eyed toddler sitting on Lupa's back, wrapped in a blanket marked with his name, spoke up at the last minute.

She held the child at her waist while they were in their ranks, trying to look dignified despite Jason's habit of keeping his fingers in his mouth. When muster was discharged, Centurion Katherine Holly made her way to the barracks with her cohort, sat on her bunk with Jason on her knees and she tried to understand where he was from.

She didn't get much, but this little guy had bright eyes and when a legionnaire poked him, his laughter was contagious.

"He's not much for a son of Jupiter," her colleague Chase said, sitting next to her.

"He'll grow into something great," Katherine said. "Won't you Jason?"

He hadn't understood, but he'd nodded.

And so this story began.

* * *

Jason fell back again, keeping himself propped up by the elbows. He managed to keep his sword in his hand, which was a small improvement from yesterday.

"Get up," Centurion Marcus, a second cohort transfer who wasn't happy about having been moved to a lower cohort, snapped at him. "I said get up."

Jason managed to get up. He'd sprung something in his leg, he felt it. He might be the youngest kid in the legion, at age ten, but he knew how a twisted knee felt. He couldn't walk it off because Marcus would lose it and snap even more.

"That was pitiful, Grace." Marcus spat. "You call that a stab?"

"I'm not used to this sword," Jason said. He could usually just shut up and listen to the Centurions giving him his orders, but Marcus was the only Centurion in the galaxy who wouldn't let Jason use his coin, and he had no excuse to do that. Marcus did that just because he could. It was an abuse of power, clean and simple.

"Don't make excuses," Marcus snapped. "You call yourself a son of Jupiter? Our king? The Lord of the skies and the gods? Stop acting like a mortal."

Jason locked his jaw and get back into a fighting position.

"Are you going to try again? Make sure you don't embarrass me this time or I might have to start calling you the Son of Flora."

So _that _was why Marcus hated Jason so much… Because he should be like Jupiter, but _so _wasn't.

But there were two twins who were children of Flora, Daniel and Blare, and Jason knew that they were insulted because Flora never got taken seriously.

"That's not an insult," Jason said trying to sound strong.

He looked at Daniel and Blare. Their eyes were thankful, and they didn't look hurt. That made Jason feel better.

Marcus shoved him. "Don't talk back, Grace, and show me something that's worth the time my eyes spend on you. Go, go, go, _now." _

And so Jason raised his sword again.

* * *

"So what do we do now?"

Dakota and Bobby had turned to Jason automatically. The new girl they'd picked up and sort-of adopted into their quest, Reyna, looked at him too to see what the fuss was about. It was clear in her eyes that she still couldn't get over how short he was.

"What?" He asked.

"What do we do?" Bobby repeated.

"Dakota's the leader," Jason said.

"Pff, I can't lead," Dakota said. "But you can. Where should we go?"

Jason looked up at the sky. It wasn't like he'd ever led before, people just always assumed that he could. Oh well...

"The sun's setting, so we should settle camp." Jason said.

"Shouldn't we look for a city?" Bobby asked.

"No, because we don't know if we'll hit civilisation and find a place to stay," Jason said. "It's safer to have a good camp established by sundown."

"Then one of you idiots needs to go find some wood for fire," Reyna said. "Because I'm not going to go back in that forest if the pirates are wandering around."

"So why are we safe from your pirates?" Dakota asked.

"You're not," Reyna said. "I'm just saying that they'll kill me quicker."

"I don't see the problem with that." Bobby said.

"Cut it out, guys," Jason said grabbing Reyna and Bobby's shoulders to break up the fight before it started. Reyna shrugged his hand off. "Dakota will look for firewood with Bobby. Reyna and I can find a good place for shelter and get a fire pit set up. Don't forget the kindling."

"Aye, aye, captain," Bobby said, obviously mocking a pirate ship's captain. Anger flashed in Reyna's eyes and Jason pulled her away.

"If you're coming back to our camp, you better learn to behave," Jason said. "People are ruthless there. You can't get into fights and get offended at everything they say. You'll last about seven minutes."

"What tells you I'm even coming to camp? What tells you that your augury line about War's Daughter isn't the only reason why I'm sticking around?"

"Because you didn't stay with your sister in the Amazon kingdom. If I had a sister, I wouldn't leave her unless I thought I had to, unless I thought I had to go somewhere else. Although I'm sure you loved her a lot." He added quickly.

Reyna didn't look at him for a while. Her eyes were stormy, as if she were still debating that decision in her head.

"You watch and understand people well. No wonder they think you're the leader." She said watching him. Then she turned her head. "Let's go find some high land to set base on."

* * *

Jason was staring at the ground of the temple of Jupiter Optimus Maximus, looking at the tiles. It was two years since Jason's first quest, so you'd think that the panic swelling inside him would be excitement, or just plain-old battle jitters. But Jason had never been more afraid.

"Please help me," he pleaded. "Please help me; I don't know if I can defeat Ketos Troias, even with Reyna."

Nothing happened. Jason looked around the room. This was the first quest he officially led though the books called him the leader of the last quest, and he was just too scared to think of anywhere else to turn to.

He convinced himself that Jupiter would help him out later. The god had been absent for Jason's whole life, and so he'd help now that Jason needed it. It'd be okay. He could leave on his quest tomorrow morning and bring everyone back safely. Even if Reyna was mad with him, she and Bobby still didn't get along, and Dakota was going to be cut off from Kool-Aid. He could do it. He could make everything okay for all of them and the legion. It was in his blood.

* * *

The goddess Bellona, whose path their quest had made them cross, had finished praising her daughter and giving out cryptic advice that the later seemed to understand. She moved over to Jason. They were standing in the woods where they'd just been chased by a mob of hellhounds, so Jason wished she could hurry up so that they could possibly go somewhere else, but he shut up and paid his respects to the goddess.

"Jason Grace," she said. "The son of Jupiter. One of a kind in this world. You look like your father. Are you as good as he is?"

Jason didn't know what to say. Was he as good as Jupiter at leading and fighting and being strong and just?

No.

Should he be?

"I try, ma'am." he replied confidently.

* * *

He looked back on that quest -his greatest accomplishment- several times, his eyes wide and hopeful and optimistic as they scrutinised every detail.

But no, he never saw what he was looking for. Jason Grace led a quest, stopped the titanness Phoebe from using the hope in Pandora's box to heal her king Saturn, killed the Trojan sea monster, and brought his friends back to New Rome with the help of only one deity.

Bellona.

Nothing more, nothing else. Nobody else even possibly had a part to play. The _weather _hadn't even been good. Jason couldn't even wildly grab onto that and be thankful for it..

He still prayed to Jupiter and thanked his immortal father the next day because he wanted to be a good son.

* * *

"Why are you telling me this?" Jason asked Reyna finally. He was horrified by what he'd heard. Jason had expected her back story from the pirate ship to be all swords and knives and action. Twenty percent of her skin was scare tissue after all. Not… Not this. He couldn't believe that anyone would do this.

"You told me to open up, Grace." Reyna snapped. "But if you don't care, or if it's too _gruesome _for you- or better yet, if you're one of those guys who think that it's be my fault…"

"No!" Jason said. "No, no, no- Reyna, don't think that. I'm sorry you'd ever consider that that's how I think about this! No way. I just… I never expected you to talk about what happened on the pirate ship."

"You told me to open up," Reyna said brushing her bangs to the right of her face. Jason's eyes got hold of a scar above her eye. "And if there's anyone I'd tell this to, it'd be you. Any other stupid questions?"

"You trust me?" Jason said after a while.

"Of course," Reyna said. "You have that aura to you. That calm, level-headed, trustworthy confident leader aura. And… and you're my friend."

Jason smiled.

"I'm glad we're getting along now," he said. "Come on, it's time for supper."

* * *

Jason was twisting his hands as he got up from his seat. This was the first time he actually addressed the senate.

"I…" Everyone looked at him with bright eyes- either expecting him to fail miserable or say something impressive and life changing that would put all of their perspectives of the universe in check. He wasn't sure which was worst.

Jason felt like he was ten years old, a newbie in the actual training, getting pushed around by Marcus again. He didn't know what to say.

He took a deep breath.

"With all the respect owed to the senate, the praetors, and the people of Rome: I don't feel as if this plan would succeed." Jason said.

"No?" Praetor Marius asked. His voice was a challenge, like 'thank you for your opinion peasant, now sit back down'.

If Jason sat back down, Rome would burn. And if Jason sat back down, he'd disappoint his father and the people who believed in him.

"No," Jason nodded trying to sound confident.

"Well thank you for your input but as a newly ranked Centurion your-"

"I may be newly ranked Praetor, but I have experience." Jason said raising his sleeve and showing his tattoo, exposing all the bars.

Marius' eyes widened and lightning crackled in his irises, thunder boomed in his pupils. He was _so _upset, Jason had never stepped that much out of line before.

"Jason Grace, sit back down. The blood of Jupiter Optimus Maximus in your veins does not give you the title of a prince and you would do well to stop assuming it does-"

"No!" Jason said. "I'm very sorry Praetor, but I don't believe that at all. It's just that if we attack Saturn's forces on Mount Othrys, the terrain gives us an advantage. They'll be coming down from the peak, we'll be going up. It'll be easy to set many lines and to trap the monsters who escape if we pick the landscape accordingly. If we bring the fight to New Rome, one infiltrator could make everything go wrong." Jason said.

"He's right," Reyna said standing up. She looked over to him. She trusted him. And since she'd been Centurion for three months already, it looked better.

Gwen, his fellow Centurion, stood up, and many of their friends did. Octavian stared down some others who looked like they wanted to stand up.

"Okay," Marius said. Jason blinked. Okay? What was the catch? Nothing from Marius came easily. "You can lead this attack with cohorts 3, 4, 5. Rome will furnish you with everything you need. If the sent cohorts lose, it's your fault and the history books and citizens of New Rome will know that entirely and completely."

Jason's stomach sunk. He'd led before but now… The stakes were so high. And three cohorts?

"Are you still sure you want to do this, Centurion Grace?"

Jason thought back to all those hours spent at the temple of the best and the greatest, all those hours spent sparring and making himself better. His whole life had led up to this moment in a way.

"Yes." He said.

* * *

He knelt in the temple of Jupiter. His new purple cloak skimmed the ground.

"Father," he said. "I'm praetor now; of all Rome. It's a big job and there's a lot of rebuilding and restructuring to do. The people aren't used to having leaders that aren't biased and a senate that isn't corrupted and lazy, but I think I can make them accept the changes and I think that I can make Rome works. I'm your son and I… I'll make you proud this time."

He looked at the statue. That was the only reason he knew what his father looked like.

Nothing happened. Not even a sign, or a shift in the breeze.

Jason got up. He should've just kept celebrating in the first place. He knew that praying was useless; he should have learned his lesson as a little boy. You shouldn't pray, you should do. You shouldn't ask for help, you should find it. You shouldn't hope, you should ensure. Why did he always try to do both?

Why was he still _so _disappointed _every single time?_

He looked up at the sky and the statue. It had moved. One hand was over the heart. Jason scurried to his feet and bowed the Roman way, on one knee with a hand on his heart.

* * *

"One black coffee for Miss Too-badass-for-sugar," Jason said putting a cup in front of her. She looked up and smiled.

"Hmm, you'd be perfect if you'd brought a-"

"Muffin?" Jason asked raising a waxed paper bag. "Guess I am perfect."

"Oh yes, that's you all right," Reyna said, rolling her eyes and smiling. "What's the occasion?"

"The sky is blue," Jason said.

"Well isn't that exciting," she said.

"I'm glad you think so too, nobody in New Rome seems to. They actually looked quite concerned at my excitement when I pointed that out."

Reyna laughed. She took the muffin and offered him half the top. Jason accepted the cranberry goodness and sat down on his chair, pulling paperwork towards him as he ate.

He looked up periodically. Reyna was leaning over her files and papers and bills and complaints. Her obsidian hair fell over one shoulder, like a veil. Her dark eyes were focused on her task- cool, determined, in control, disciplined, fierce. If the windows were a window to the soul, Reyna polished them often. But so much of her was still hidden- arguably the best part. She brought her coffee cup to her thin lips every now and then, and Jason caught himself thinking about her lips in _way _too much detail for an appropriate co-worker relationship.

She never caught him looking at her, though.

Let's just say that Jason Grace had some experience in that level.

* * *

September always brought along the ceremonies for Jupiter Tonans ("The thunderer"). Since the legion was vowed to him, the day was an off day of training for the legionnaires. During that day, Jason and Reyna were sent to accomplish their proof of worthiness as praetors. Right now they were on a raid to get some Imperial gold.

When Jason walked out of the Civil war museum in Charleston he couldn't see Reyna, who'd promised to keep a watch for the monster who'd decided to follow them for the quest (the Teumessian fox, by the way) while he went to investigate the inside of the museum before they busted in and found the gold. There were dozens of orange fox hairs on the ground, but no Reyna.

He did his best not to panic just yet, and he walked around. Then he saw her, talking to a woman wearing a pink and white dress, sitting under a veranda and surrounded by dainties that Reyna would never touch.

"Sweetheart, three major things that the sons of Jupiter are not known for: being trustworthy, their fidelity, and their honesty. Honestly they're not good material long term. Fine for short term; great at fun and games. But somebody gets hurt and it ends."

"What are you talking about?" Reyna snapped. "We aren't speaking of Hercules or a hero in the likes. The hero you brought up and that we're talking about is Jason."

The hairs on the back of Jason's neck stood up straight. Uh oh. He was Jason... What had he done?

"Reyna sweetheart, it doesn't matter who it is. Their father does it too, it's in their blood. The poor dears can't help it."

Jason headed back to the museum entrance before she could realise he'd followed her (since he was about to scream in frustration).

* * *

"Coffee," Jason said putting a cup in front of here. "Black as night."

Her hand went to the cup. She didn't say anything.

He tossed the muffin onto the table.

"Got you this, too," he said.

She nodded, not looking up. It wasn't like they had _that _much to do. Jason had actually considered suggesting they go walk around.

"Are you giving me the cold shoulder?" Jason asked.

"Of course not, Jason," she snapped at him. Her eyes looked tired, like the windows to her soul had the curtains pulled over. "I'm just…" She struggled for what to say next. "Doing my job. That's it."

And she turned back.

He didn't bring back the fact that she'd been acting different since their quest to Charleston together. Or that she was acting like a stranger to him. Rougher, harder, more shut up- like when he'd met her in the woods four years earlier. He just sat down and pulled his paperwork towards him.

But he did still look up.

He guessed that... Well, whatever Venus had said about sons of Jupiter, about Jason's kind, had gotten to her. But Jason wouldn't be like the heroes Venus was talking about, he swore to himself. He'd back off. He wouldn't bother he, he'd ignore his feelings for her, he'd give her space. That was the _right, _not-womanizer thing to do.

And so he did.

* * *

He stared up at the frowning statue of Zeus, mighty and proud, but the statue didn't scare him anymore. It just made him feel said.

"I know you can hear me," Jason said to the statue.

The statue said nothing. Its painted eyes seemed to stare ahead.

"I wish I could talk with you in person," Jason continued, "but I understand you can't do that. The Roman gods don't like to interact with mortals so much, and- well, you're the king. You've got to set an example."

More silence. Jason had hoped for something- a bigger than usual rumble of thunder, a bright light, a smile. No, never mind. A smile would've been creepy.

"I remember some things," he said. The more he talked, the less self-conscious he felt. "I remember that it's hard being a son of Jupiter. Everyone is always looking at me to be a leader, but I always feel alone. I guess you feel the same way up on Olympus. The other gods challenge your decisions. Sometimes you've got to make hard choices, and the others criticize you. And you can't come to my aid like other gods might. You've got to keep me at a distance so it doesn't look like you're playing favourites. I guess I just wanted to say…"

Jason took a deep breath. "I understand all that. It's okay. I'm going to try to do my best. I'll try to make you proud. But I could really use some guidance, Dad. If there's anything you can do- help me so I can help my friends. I'm afraid I'll get them killed. I don't know how to protect them."

* * *

She was obviously worried, watching Coach Hedge lug his cargo into the Argo II.

"Hey," Jason said. "When we land, I'll show you New Rome. You'll love it; nothing to worry about."

"You will?" Piper asked. She was obviously interested in this magical, hidden city- but she'd never asked too many questions. She was too shy: everyone treated Camp Jupiter like it was radioactive. Talking about it too much could make Jason explode.

"Promise," Jason said to give her hope once they landed. Piper nodded.

"Thanks. I actually feel _a lot _better."

"I try," Jason said kissing her cheek.

He was going to keep this promise. He would not break it; he did not break promises.

* * *

When Jason woke up from the brick-to-the-head it wasn't the pounding in his head that was bad, it was the fact that he'd gotten knocked out during a fight.

That was really great of him. Heroic, brave. Part of him was devastated that he hadn't been able to reason with the Romans. A good leader would've been able to do that- wasn't that Jason's big thing? His strength? What was he now? He wanted to just pass out and forget about it.

But Piper was staring into her dagger, eyebrows knit and that couldn't be good. She looked worried; he had to take care of her and make her feel better. So he croaked "Hey."

* * *

Hercules looked at Jason. "Son of Zeus, eh?"

"Jupiter," Jason said. It kept feeling important to him- he was a Roman, he worked like a Roman, he did Roman things.

"Not much different. Dad's annoying in either forms. Me? I was called Heracles. Then the Romans came along and named me Hercules. I didn't really change that much, though lately just thinking about it gives me splitting headaches.

The side of Hercules' face twitched and his robes shimmered to white for a second, before settling back down with purple.

"At any rate if you're Jupiter's son, you might understand. It's a lot of pressure. Enough is never enough. Eventually it can make a guy snap."

Jason's mouth was dry and he wanted to jump out of his body to avoid the way his stomach was twisting. He wanted to say- _what, me? Pff, no, I've got this thing nailed down. _But he hadn't. He wasn't even close.

"As for you, my dear," Hercules said turning to Piper who looked about as comfortable as she had when Aphrodite had claimed her. "Be careful. Sons of Zeus can be… well, never mind."

Jason's stomach filled with rage. Had this guy, this guy who hadn't even properly met Jason as a person, just accused Jason of being… of being what? A womanizer? A player? A charmer?

Of being just like dad?

Jason was about to speak up but Piper had kept herself collected and was still talking to Hercules like a civilised person. She calmed him down, which was a good thing. Jason didn't want to fit into the mold of angry and temperamental.

* * *

"River gods know many things," he said. "Alas, you are focusing on the wrong story. If you had made it to Rome, the story of the flood would have served you better."

"Piper?" Jason asked. "What's he talking about?"

Her eyes were suddenly as jumbled as kaleidoscope glass, but Jason could tell her ideas were forming.

"I-I'm not sure," she said. "Achelous, I don't understand-"

"No, you don't," the river god sympathized. "Poor thing. Another girl stuck with a son of Zeus."

"Wait a minute," Jason said. He was beyond ticked off now. Hercules was his brother, so he knew how things were in the family a bit better. He didn't just hear about these stories of Zeus' twenty thousand kids and Hera's jealousy, he _was _one. Possibly the best example in history, actually… But this random and obviously bitter and prejudiced river god? No way. He had no right to insult Jason's bloodline, and no way to talk to Piper that way. "It's Jupiter, actually. And how does that make her a _poor thing?"_

Of course the answer was vague and involved Achelous' own love life.

"Instead she went off with Hercules. She picked the handsome, flashy hero over the good, faithful husband who would have treated her well. What happened next? Well, she should have known. Hercules was much too wrapped up in his own problems to be a good husband."

Jason's mouth filled with poison now. Was the god inciting that he was being mean to Piper somehow? Half of his mind went into panic mode at that; he thought over how he talked to her, how he acted with her… No… he was okay… he was pretty sure he was… oh gods, what if he wasn't? What if he..? No, he was fine, he… He was as good to her as he could possibly be. But what if that wasn't enough?

"He had already murdered one wife, you know. Hera cursed him, so he flew into a rage and killed his entire family. Horrible business. That's why he had to do those twelve labours as penance." Achelous explained.

Piper looked appalled. "Wait… Hera _made _him crazy, and _Hercules _had to do the penance?"

Jason loved his patron.

No. He mustn't be sarcastic, that wasn't good.

Achelous shrugged. "The Olympians never seem to pay for their crimes. And Hera has always hated the sons of Zeus… or Jupiter."

Jason got the worst, bitterest, most distrustful and loathing look he'd ever gotten- which was saying a lot.

"At any rate, my poor Deianira had a tragic end. She became jealous of Hercules's many affairs. He gallivanted all over the world, you see, just like his father Zeus, flirting with every woman he met."

Jason felt like punching him. That was one part of being a child of Zeus or Jupiter that only people who were very, very low brought up. He'd punched Octavian and gotten into the most trouble he'd ever been in once after the nice safe legacy of Apollo whose parents were married in a nice little pastel New Roman cottage had brought that up one day.

"Finally Deianira got so desperate she listened to bad advice. A crafty centaur named Nessus told her that if she wanted Hercules to be faithful forever, she should spread some centaur blood on the inside of Hercules' favourite shirt. Unfortunately Nessus was lying because he wanted revenge on Hercules. Deianira followed his instructions, but instead of making Hercules a faithful husband-"

Jason knew what he was about to say from myth and experience: "Centaur blood is like acid."

"Yes," Achelous said. "Hercules died a painful death. When Deianira realised what she'd done, she…"

He drew a line across his neck.

"That's awful." Piper said, looking pale.

"And the moral, my dear?" Achelous said. Jason's fingernails were digging into his palm. "Beware the sons of Zeus."

Piper didn't look at him. Jason saw unease in her eyes, this myth bothered her.

Jason felt mad enough to shoot lightning from his eyes.

* * *

"You would not be the first demigod I've killed." Hercules told Jason.

"Jason is better than you," Piper said, which made his heart skip a beat. "But don't worry. We're not going to fight you. We're going to leave this island with the horn. You don't deserve it as a prize. I'm going to keep it, to remind me of what _not _to be like as a demigod, and to remind me of poor Achelous and Deianira."

The god's nostrils flared and Jason raised his sword a tiny bit. "Do _not _mention that name! You can't seriously think I'm worried about your puny boyfriend. No one is stronger than me."

"I didn't say stronger, I said he's _better."_

Jason had never wanted something to be truer, as he watched his girlfriend, so fierce and determined, blast Hercules with the cornucopia's treasure.

* * *

The Seven were in frenzy.

"What are we going to do?" Frank asked again, trying to inject some structure into everyone's panic.

"Bros, we're doomed!" Leo said. "We _need _Percy and Annabeth."

"Look, we can still manage." Jason said silencing everyone. "I know how powerful and strong Percy and Annabeth were, but we are not out of game.

"That's rich from you," Hazel said sharply.

"What do you mean, Hazel?" Jason asked trying not to sound surprised by the hostility in his voice.

"Well, I just think it's funny that you're asking us to trust you and respect you when you don't respect anyone else."

Jason felt himself turn pale. Shoot, what had he done? What had he done?

"What do you mean, Hazel?"

She looked small and bitter.

"You didn't even _look _at Reyna when the ship landed, did you? You didn't ask about Dakota –whose drinking got a lot worst since you left by the way- or Gwen –who was nearly _murdered, _for your information- or Bobby- whose twin brother died when he was out looking for you, in case you cared."

Jason's brain went into red-alert. He'd spent the last four years of his life taking care of and backing up this girl on quests and in every day fort life. She was his best friend, and the closest thing he'd had to a sister for most of his life. She wasn't okay? "What- what do you mean, Reyna?"

Hazel was shaking with anger. "We were your friends. We were all your friends. But what was Reyna, Jason? What was Reyna?"

"Hazel, can you be a little more clear?" Jason asked.

"She was in love with you." Hazel snapped. "She was inconsolable when you disappeared the day when the Sadie Hawkins dance was announced, and she was burdened and insomniac and basically starving herself because of all the work she had to do when you were gone, and now that you came back and barely _looked _at her I have no idea how she's going to manage!"

Jason became livid. He didn't look at all the other faces- not Leo who would surely joke about it, Frank who would freak out, Hazel who was mad as a stung bee, Nico- not even Piper. He didn't care what any of them thought or how any of them were taken this.

He couldn't blame himself for disappearing –that was something that everyone had worked hard on drilling into his head at Camp Half-Blood. He couldn't blame himself for not having the same feelings Reyna had, that was ridiculous even if she _was _Reyna.

But still. What had he done? Had he missed an important part of conversation in Charleston? Had Reyna actually _denied _what Venus had said? Was the day he thought she'd started ignoring him and turning down his flirting- was it really just a bad, long day after all? Had he misread everything all along? Had he misread the one person he had always been sure of?

He thought he was going to be sick.

* * *

Jason was back in his cabin. Frank had taken over Percy's job of making Jason rest since his cousin was… Jason didn't want to think about it. He was doing a horrible job at not thinking about it, but he had to.

He couldn't sleep. He was still dressed, just lying on his bed and thinking of everything that had happened during the quest. His whole mind was agitated… This was the last night before they arrived in Greece and once they got there that would be that, so Jason really had to settle his mind once and for all.

He got up, grabbed a flashlight, checked in the pockets of his spare pants until he found a coin, and went to the bathroom. He turned the shadow on and the warm water soon made the bathroom misty.

"Oh Iris goddess of the rainbow, accept my offering." He said tossing the coin in. It disappeared. "Thalia Grace, hunter of Artemis."

The mist shimmered for a while as if the IM didn't want to show itself like, _you sure you want to go there buddy? _

He caught Thalia as she was guarding a fire, early in the morning. The grass around the hunters' camp was still wet with morning mist and the scene was rainbow coloured with sunrise's light.

"Jason?" She said frowning. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Jason wasn't going to tell her about Percy and Annabeth. Annabeth was like a little sister, Percy was one of her best friends, and (yes she'd kill him later) but he could barely talk about it with the crew members who'd seen it happen; he couldn't bring it up with his sister a thousand miles away. Besides, it'd throw everyone in America off and that wasn't fair. They had to focus on the upcoming Roman invasion.

"I need help," he said. He grabbed a handful of his short hair. "Do you ever feel any pressure because you're the daughter of Zeus?"

"Me? I had a prophecy resting on my soul shoulders a few years back. I'm supposed to take care of all these girls following Artemis, most of which don't want to be taken care of." Thalia said. "Of course I do. Why? You're not feeling the love?"

"No, it's not that." Jason said. He explained to Thalia about… everything. From when he used to pray to his father, to not getting help ever, to what Achelous had said…

"And you didn't like hearing that," Thalia nodded.

"The way everyone's telling me this… It's like 'oh, look at this guy. He's cool for now, but one day he'll be in the myths with a bunch of broken-hearted girls'. I don't _want _that. Can't I have a legacy that's more than just heartbreaking jerk? Can't I go somewhere where people don't assume that that's what I am?" Jason asked.

"I'm afraid not," Thalia said. "It's in history, books, art, stories… You can't erase what and who Dad is."

"How many girls in those tents behind you hate the sons of Zeus?" He asked feeling helpless and desperate.

Jason thought she'd refuse to answer and stay silent until he said something different, but then he realised that she was counting.

"Seven," Thalia said. "There used to be nine."

Jason looked away. He hadn't made those nine girls join the hunt but for some reason he felt so incredibly guilty.

"Jason, it's not programmed into your blood cells or anything. You hurt people if you do something to hurt them. My heart was broken by a son of Hermes; believe me, genealogy has nothing to do with it. You're a smart guy, and your sister's a hunter of Artemis who is unashamed of kicking your butt and making you cry like a baby. I expect you'll be okay." Thalia said.

"What if I'm not?" Jason said. "I don't know what if I screw up and things go downhill?"

"Then you're an idiot who made a mistake," Thalia said. "So is every other guy, girl, god and goddess in the galaxy. The thing is; you're not going to be a Hercules or a Zeus because you'll apologise and you'll make things better and you won't do it twice."

Jason looked at his hands.

"Do you really think I'm a good person?"

"I think you're the best." Thalia said.

"Even if you weren't my sister?" Jason asked.

Thalia was always slightly biased.

"Yes," Thalia said. "Even if I weren't your sister."

"I'm tired of filling someone else's shoes and standing in someone else's shadow. Especially since I don't particularly like his shoes or shadow," Jason said.

"People want you to be a leader and a fighter all at the same time?"

"And a player," Jason said. "Well, not 'want' but expect."

"I expected you to be dead," Thalia said. "You're so good at exceeding expectations. I trust you, even if you don't trust yourself, and –newsflash- so does Piper."

"If what Hercules said was true, and if there's an exception to everything, then I'm going to be this one's." Jason said after a while.

Thalia smiled through the IM. "I know the pressure's hard, and Dad isn't exactly helpful. But we are leaders and fighters, Jason. The thing with children of Zeus is that we often take the pressure on ourselves. Especially you. Part of it is that we are, indeed, standing in a shadow. Part of it is that we try too hard to create our own."

* * *

Jason was alone with Jupiter as they waited for Porphyrion to show himself on the battlefield and fight.

They didn't talk. Jason had imagined talking with his dad since he was tiny- asking questions about his mom, where he was from, what he wanted from Jason, what Jason could do, get advice, tell stories, ask for stories… and maybe get some praise in there, a tiny part of him hoped… Of course those things were out of place for a son of Rome to even think about asking a god, but Jason couldn't help what he was feeling. That was something that Piper had learned the hard way and taught him.

Instead it was an eerie and heavy silence, as if a cloud was weighing over them. Well, it was –_to storm or to fire the world must fall- _but it was quiet.

The god stood regal and proud and official and focused- not caring, not feeling, not being bothered by a detail smaller than the good of the world and the bigger picture.

And Jason had never felt smaller, standing in the both terrible and great shadow of a man whose shoes he was required to fill.

And he had never fought an opponent who was bigger.


End file.
